Singleness is a Gift

This is a phrase that I, a single Christian hear a lot. Most Christian singles hear this phrase and we nod along in agreement, but do we really live out the truth of this statement? Do we genuinely believe that singleness is a gift or are we secretly bummed because we want a spouse? 

Singleness being a gift does not mean that you aren’t desirable or worthy of being in a relationship or being married. Singleness means that in God’s sovereignty and wisdom, He sees that you are best fit to be single at this particular time in your life. Could that change next week? Yes! Could that change a year from now? Yes! Could that maybe not ever change, Yes! But in every season, God is good and God knows what is best not only for our good, but His kingdom which is why we’re here in the first place, right? 

Let’s look at what Paul, a fellow single believer, said on being single. In 1 Corinthians 7:7 Paul says, “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.” I want to point out a few things from this verse:

1. Paul wishes all were as himself, meaning single. This means he sees how valuable being single is and wishes that others can also be in the similar place he is. 
2. He notes that “each has his own gift from God,” meaning both singleness and marriage are gifts that God gives. 
3. Now that he has established that singleness is a gift and marriage is a gift, he differentiates that each gift is one of a kind. The gift that marriage is and the gift that singleness is are both equally valuable, but look different.
4. I can’t help but correlate what Paul says in verse 7 and then a few chapters later in 1 Corinthians 12 when discussing spiritual gifts. Paul is talking about spiritual gifts and how they all work together for the good of the body of Christ. The word gift is not at all about us believers or how good we can be, it’s all about Christ and the Great Commission. Gifts are all about being sanctified about bringing lost people to Christ. Gifts are graciously given to us from a Holy God that allows us to participate in His unfolding plan of bringing together His bride. 

So, it’s not that singleness is the problem, it’s our mindset and what we are believing about God and our current situation. I do, however, want to empathize with many of you reading this, because you truly desire to be married and glorify God through marriage. I hear you and I understand, but I also want to point you to scripture that has encouraged me.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, 

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.”

There is a time for everything, loved ones. Take this time of singleness seriously and with reverence to Christ Jesus. Here are some tangible ways to make the most of and enjoy singleness:

1. Find hobbies you enjoy doing and do them. Not that married couples don’t have hobbies, but you have the time and space to enjoy doing what you want to do
2. Serve people in your local church in major ways. Being single allows you to serve people, specifically families, in ways that married couples cannot. You have the flexibility- bring them coffee, help with house chores, offer to pick up their children, invest in their children’s lives, go do things with them. 
3. Travel by yourself-It’s so much easier to travel when you don’t have to account for someone else, babies, etc. 
4. Spend time investing in your relationship with Christ. I’ll be honest, this one is my favorite thing about being a single gal who doesn’t have any children right now. I have friends who have babies and families who don’t get time to themselves very often. I cherish the moments I get to go to coffee shops for hours on a Saturday morning and just read & journal- what a gift. 

Loved ones, singleness is a gift just like marriage is. If you don’t see how your singleness is a gift now, I fear that if you were to get married, you wouldn’t be able to see all the abundant gifts that marriage has to offer, either. Take advantage of this time because singleness is such a joy.

Sidenote: Sam Allberry has a book that has shifted my mindset on this and it’s called 7 Myths about Singleness and I cannot recommend it enough- for single or married people. Singles are needed in the local church and we need to do a better job at knowing how to empower and utilize singles in our local churches, and this book biblically explains and encourages why!

Rachael Kaulen is a seminary student pursing her Masters in Theology at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary who enjoys iced coffee, Chick Fil A, walks with friends, and golden retrievers. To find more content from Rachel, follow her on Instagram (@coffeewithrach) or visit her website: www.coffeewithrach.com