Originally Published December 2020
Today we are going to be talking about perfectionism.
The dictionary defines perfectionism as “The personal demand for perfection and rejection of anything less.”
Perfectionism is not a character quality or trait, rather, it is a characteristic of an unhealthy behavior.
This behavior often comes up in my sessions with clients. Because I come across it so often, I begin to wonder what causes this ideal to take place in the mind?
I use the word “ideal” here, because that is what perfection is. We often like to think of perfection as a “gold standard” in achievement, but the reality is, perfection is an unachievable standard. Apart from Jesus Christ, no perfect human being has ever lived.
So, if perfection is impossible, then why is it that so many people strive to achieve it?
I think this unhealthy characteristic of behavior can be a coping mechanism for clients who have insecurities or anxieties that they don’t know how to handle. Usually the ideal of perfection is a way of avoiding something that one would rather not deal with or trying to control something that seems to be out of their control.
So, here is my personal definition of perfectionism. Perfectionism is the fear of one’s mistakes. Perfectionism is less about actually achieving perfection than it is about avoiding making mistakes. There are deep seated wounds in many of us that tell us “if you’re not perfect, something negative will happen to you or because of you.”
If you find yourself struggling with the ideal of perfectionism, I would encourage you to explore what this might be about with self-awareness and healthy self care.
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